Monday, January 6, 2014

The Debate - Toddlers or Teenagers - Which is Better?

This week I had a moment -- a really great moment with one of my teenagers.  We were totally laughing about the same thing standing in the kitchen.  It was a moment when I thought "I really like you.  I like being with you just because you are you. You are so fun to be around!"

On the same day I had another great conversation with my son, also in the kitchen.  (Fact:  all great conversations take place in either in the kitchen or the car.) It was more serious in nature, but I felt it was honest and good.  I feel him maturing and able to talk without being defensive or emotional.  It was downright pleasant.

I reflected on a post I wrote a while back about missing having toddlers and encouraging moms to treasure the time when your kids are little.  If you don't remember the post (it was the one with the Trace Aktins videos), you can find it here.  I must have been writing that when I was having a difficult time with my teenager(s).

I don't know about you but I really hate feeling nostalgic.  Knowing you won't get time back is awful.

Sarah's post at Mothering Magazine this week is on a similar topic -- kids growing up and how we identify ourselves as women once we aren't breastfeeding or having homebirths anymore.  Babies become toddlers who become children who become "tweens" who become teenagers who become adults.  Each phase is so unique and full of challenges but also happiness.

My point to this post?  An apology to all the moms of young children!  As much as I miss those days on occasion, I wouldn't go back if you paid me a million dollars.  Well, maybe a million... But it was HARD!

I love my kids being bigger.  They are independent and generally pretty fun to be around.  Yes, we still have days that are HARD, but it's in such a different way.  I worry about them and the choices they are out there making.  I hope we've taught them well.  I hope they are strong and confident and full of self-esteem.

To those of you still in the trenches of toddlerhood, hang in there!  Enjoy the little moments and the sweetness and know that one day, they will be able to make their own mac and cheese!

1 comment:

Refrigerator Memories said...

Thank you for this. I have a 6yr, 5yr, 8mo, and still planning another two so we have a long way to go before getting teenagers. And that is what I am looking forward to. I LOVE babies (meaning not mobile or trying to assert independence) but I am just trying to make it through these young years until they are grown some more. It's hard to explain but I feel like I will be a better mom and get along with teenaged kids.