Isn't pregnancy a miraculous time in a woman's life? To look down and see your belly grow, and grow, and grow! There are moments of panic when you look at your belly and think, "This has to come out of me!" We all do it. It can be frightening and overwhelming.
For the millionth time -- say it with me -- education and a supportive birth team are the keys to a successful, happy, unmedicated birth. Preparing your mind and your body for labor are crucial, but it does no good if you have a doctor who is determined that you need to be induced or are too weak to give birth without his/her assistance. Surrounding youself with positive energy is an absolute must. An unmedicated labor and birth are hard enough under the best circumstances, but nearly impossible with no education and support.
We've talked about American birth and the scenarios that lead to the majority of c-sections. They often begin with an induction, which leads to an epidural, which leads to pitocin to stimulate contractions, which leads to fetal distress and a mom who can't move around to help her baby out. The c-section "saves" the baby. There are lots of variations of this scenario. Maybe this sounds familiar to you.
Let's say this scenario ends in a c-section, which 50% of births do in North TX (33% nationwide), and most women begin that sentence somewhere along these lines: "I had to have a c-section because..." Let's face it -- had she not had the epidural and the cascading interventions that followed, she very likely would NOT have had to have a c-section. Harsh? Perhaps. I think it is crucial that women -- and men -- come to understand their role and their responsibilities when it comes to birthing their child(ren). They need to understand that by interfering with the natural process, they are (almost always) doing more harm than good.
But they can change their next birth.
Here's another harsh statement: If you want a different outcome, you have to do things differently! You have already been labeled by everyone as a VBACer. That previous c-section will follow you forever. Some providers care and others don't. You make most doctors nervous even though your chance of rupture is the same as a women who goes in for a -- in this day and age -- standard pitocin induction.
If the epidural led you down the road to a c-section the first time, why would you do it again? Maybe you aren't even aware that that is why you had the c-section. Think back to your labor. Often, everything is fine until pitocin or pain medication is introduced. If you were told that your hips were too small or or baby was too big, why would you just take that? Your body grew your baby. It is made to birth your baby. Get up. Walk. Give birth. Squat. Take an active role in your labor and your birth. You can do it. If your doctor says no way, he won't do a VBAC, I don't care if he's a "nice guy" (I hear this all the time!), change doctors! Find that supportive birth team. They are out there!
I routinely hear women ask if they can expect their labors to be like their mothers -- slow, fast, c-sections, etc. -- and most doctors will say there is no correlation. And yet, recently I heard of a women who was told that her mother had c-sections, so she probably needed them too. Her sisters have also all had c-sections. The power of suggestion is an amazing thing. How can the need for c-sections run in an entire family?!
One of my Bradley moms gave birth this past Friday (my birthday, too!) and the day before she had been at her chiropractor's office. This woman had been laboring on and off for a couple of days and was exhausted. Her chiropractor told her to talk to her body and her mind. "Tell your body to stop labor for a while so you can sleep." That night she did just that and she slept for a solid hour and woke up to her water breaking and hard labor. She gave birth about 7 hours later. The mind and body work together in labor. Modern medicine discounts this very important fact and only focuses on the body.
My point - the mind is so powerful. If you want a VBAC, go for it. But it will not just magically happen for you. And it is not about luck. It is about preparation and hiring the right care provider who believes in you! Prepare for an unmedicated birth if you really want that VBAC!
It cannot go unmentioned at this point that even if you hire a doctor who is pro-VBAC, it is vital that his/her hospital and OB group also support VBACs. If you read Allison's story a couple of months ago, we learned how important this aspect of your health-care is. Everyone must be on the same page. When I lived in Albuquerque, I was interviewing a group of midwives at one of the local hospitals and they were so proud of their VBAC rate -- an astounding 92.3%! But they all had the same goal. Supporting women. Encouraging them to push their babies out vaginally! If your OB or midwifery group says they support VBACs, ask them for their VBAC rate. According to CIMS' Mother-Friendly guidelines, that rate should not fall below 75%. That means that at least 3 out of every 4 women will achieve a vaginal birth after a cesarean.
Bottom line. You will birth this baby one time. No second chances. Don't let the American way of not "allowing" you to VBAC keep you from this experience. Make the commitment to yourself, your husband, and especially your baby, that you will not have medication to numb this experience. Embrace it. You and your baby deserve to experience labor and a vaginal birth.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Questions to Ask Your Doctor or Midwife
I am routinely asked this question: "What kinds of questions should I ask my doctor/midwife?" There is a great list put out by CIMS (Coalition for Improving Maternity Services) titled: "Having a Baby? Ten Questions to Ask." I would strongly recommend you look those over if you are expecting a baby.
I would like to add a question though: "What made you decide to become an OB/Midwife?"
Recently, I was reading a local magazine article about an OB-GYN and she was asked this question. Her answer, in my eyes, raised a huge red flag. She said she was doing her medical rotation and it was during a c-section that she decided that this was the profession she wanted to be in. It wasn't witnessing a natural, unmedicated birth and the awe of a woman's body that she felt inspired by -- it was a surgical procedure where she "rescued" the baby from the woman's body. This is what she enjoyed -- surgery!
Ultimately, this question will let you know if they feel the need or desire to intervene in the natural process with lots of testing and procedures. You'll know if they view pregnancy, labor, and birth as a normal healthy process, or if the medical profession improves upon the natural process. (Sometimes this is true, but in less than 20% of pregnancies.) It's all about their viewpoint.
It's a harmless question full of enlightening information.
I would like to add a question though: "What made you decide to become an OB/Midwife?"
Recently, I was reading a local magazine article about an OB-GYN and she was asked this question. Her answer, in my eyes, raised a huge red flag. She said she was doing her medical rotation and it was during a c-section that she decided that this was the profession she wanted to be in. It wasn't witnessing a natural, unmedicated birth and the awe of a woman's body that she felt inspired by -- it was a surgical procedure where she "rescued" the baby from the woman's body. This is what she enjoyed -- surgery!
Ultimately, this question will let you know if they feel the need or desire to intervene in the natural process with lots of testing and procedures. You'll know if they view pregnancy, labor, and birth as a normal healthy process, or if the medical profession improves upon the natural process. (Sometimes this is true, but in less than 20% of pregnancies.) It's all about their viewpoint.
It's a harmless question full of enlightening information.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The Sense of Smell Connects Babies and Mothers
When Vena (#2) was born, she was immediately placed on my chest where she remained for 2 hours, breastfeeding like a champ. We were skin to skin and eye to eye. It was an amazing period of bonding. We remained together for most of the day and took her home that same night.
After a few days, I started to notice that in the morning after I showered, she absolutely refused to breastfeed. She would cry and hardly even wanted me to hold her. It broke my heart, but it was the only time of the day she would act like that. As I put the pieces together, I realized that I smelled different after I showered and maybe that is what angered her.
From there on, I would be sure she was well-fed before I showered so that I could start to smell like myself before she would be ready to nurse again. The experience was quite funny, but I've always known that babies know not only their mothers voice and face, but also her smell.
Mothering Magazine had a great article this issue about this exact topic. I just wanted to relay a few key points that I found fascinating. If you've read anything I've written about those first couple of hours after your baby's birth, you know how strongly I feel about you and your baby remaining together.
Did you know that your baby can smell amniotic fluid for up to a week after its birth? This is (another) good reason to place your baby skin to skin after its birth. It transfers from the baby to its mothers breasts and the baby is naturally attracted to the smell. This becomes a good reason not to bathe the baby or mother too soon.
If unmedicated babies are placed on their mother's chest after birth, they will crawl to the breast and begin to breastfeed. Experiments have been done with smell preference of the breast, and babies consistently prefer the unwashed breast over the washed breast. A breast with amniotic fluid odor is even more enticing than a "plain" breast.
In other studies, babies placed in a bassinet with a breast pad with his mother's breast odor, will "crawl" towards that pad over a clean pad.
Even formula-fed babies prefer the smell of breastmilk. A recent study in Japan was trying to find the effects of breastmilk odor and babies response to the pain of a routine heelstick test. There were four different groups -- 1) exposed to the smell of their own mother's milk, 2) another mother's milk, 3) formula milk, 4) no scent at all. Their responses were monitored and, no surprise, the babies who were exposed to the scent of their own mother's breastmilk had significantly less crying and other signs of distress. Baby's cortisol levels were also checked before and after the heelstick, and babies not provided with any scent experienced increased coritsol levels. Babies who were exposed to their mother's scent experienced stable levels.
What about mothers and the smell of her infant? One of the most magical, intoxicating things I love about having a newborn, is the smell of their breath and their head. Watch a mother holding her baby for a few minutes, and she will inevitably smell her baby's head. Rubbing my check against the check of my newborn... I can't hardly stand to write about it. I feel my heart rate increase and tears come to my eyes. Oh, how I miss that! We just don't do that with our big kids. They wouldn't stand for it! Plus, they don't smell so good anymore!
Within six days after giving birth, a mother can smell the difference between an article of clothing worn by her baby and that worn by another baby. Along those same lines, blindfolded women can tell which baby is theirs when they smell the heads of three different newborns.
I wasn't breastfed, but I do remember, as a small child, laying next to my mother for a nap and her distinct smell. Smell can take us back in time. I have an old trunk that belonged to my grandmother who died when I was almost 6 years old. When I open it, I am standing in her old log cabin in Southern Illinois. I hope this sense of smell will remind our children, even when they are grown, of where they come from and who loves them most.
After a few days, I started to notice that in the morning after I showered, she absolutely refused to breastfeed. She would cry and hardly even wanted me to hold her. It broke my heart, but it was the only time of the day she would act like that. As I put the pieces together, I realized that I smelled different after I showered and maybe that is what angered her.
From there on, I would be sure she was well-fed before I showered so that I could start to smell like myself before she would be ready to nurse again. The experience was quite funny, but I've always known that babies know not only their mothers voice and face, but also her smell.
Mothering Magazine had a great article this issue about this exact topic. I just wanted to relay a few key points that I found fascinating. If you've read anything I've written about those first couple of hours after your baby's birth, you know how strongly I feel about you and your baby remaining together.
Did you know that your baby can smell amniotic fluid for up to a week after its birth? This is (another) good reason to place your baby skin to skin after its birth. It transfers from the baby to its mothers breasts and the baby is naturally attracted to the smell. This becomes a good reason not to bathe the baby or mother too soon.
If unmedicated babies are placed on their mother's chest after birth, they will crawl to the breast and begin to breastfeed. Experiments have been done with smell preference of the breast, and babies consistently prefer the unwashed breast over the washed breast. A breast with amniotic fluid odor is even more enticing than a "plain" breast.
In other studies, babies placed in a bassinet with a breast pad with his mother's breast odor, will "crawl" towards that pad over a clean pad.
Even formula-fed babies prefer the smell of breastmilk. A recent study in Japan was trying to find the effects of breastmilk odor and babies response to the pain of a routine heelstick test. There were four different groups -- 1) exposed to the smell of their own mother's milk, 2) another mother's milk, 3) formula milk, 4) no scent at all. Their responses were monitored and, no surprise, the babies who were exposed to the scent of their own mother's breastmilk had significantly less crying and other signs of distress. Baby's cortisol levels were also checked before and after the heelstick, and babies not provided with any scent experienced increased coritsol levels. Babies who were exposed to their mother's scent experienced stable levels.
What about mothers and the smell of her infant? One of the most magical, intoxicating things I love about having a newborn, is the smell of their breath and their head. Watch a mother holding her baby for a few minutes, and she will inevitably smell her baby's head. Rubbing my check against the check of my newborn... I can't hardly stand to write about it. I feel my heart rate increase and tears come to my eyes. Oh, how I miss that! We just don't do that with our big kids. They wouldn't stand for it! Plus, they don't smell so good anymore!
Within six days after giving birth, a mother can smell the difference between an article of clothing worn by her baby and that worn by another baby. Along those same lines, blindfolded women can tell which baby is theirs when they smell the heads of three different newborns.
I wasn't breastfed, but I do remember, as a small child, laying next to my mother for a nap and her distinct smell. Smell can take us back in time. I have an old trunk that belonged to my grandmother who died when I was almost 6 years old. When I open it, I am standing in her old log cabin in Southern Illinois. I hope this sense of smell will remind our children, even when they are grown, of where they come from and who loves them most.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Having Baby #2
It is such a joy to watch my Bradley families grow. I usually do have a few couples in class that have had previous children, so I try to address a couple of issues that parents are typically concerned with when have that second baby. Most do not voice these concerns, but once we get to talking, nearly everyone has them.
Think back to being pregnant with the first baby: the excitement (hopefully!) of seeing that pee- stick tell you that you were going to have a baby, picking a doctor or (hopefully!) a midwife, reading all the books, listening to countless birth stories and wondering what your own birth would be like. That first time around is just magical. Feeling the baby move, laughing at your baby's hiccups, thinking that Braxton-Hicks contractions were the baby doing a major somersault.
The first time you tried to breastfeed, all the worrying about if you were doing things right. What kind of mother you'd be. You watched your baby's every move. Recorded all the firsts. There are a million pictures on your computer of your baby doing everything from sleeping to smiling to crawling to eating solid food. It was all so new and amazing to watch this little person grow. He had your undivided attention, often much to dad's dismay!
When you found out you were pregnant with baby #2, you probably felt excited that you'd get to do this again. This time, you promise yourself that you'll remember what it feels like to have a baby inside you move their little feet. Hopefully you won't be sick, whether you were or were not the first time around. Being sick with a little one in tow is quite different that being sick by yourself! So, no guilt when your child watches Sesame Street over and over! Survival mode might kick in! And that is okay. It's all for a good cause.
A lot of second time parents don't read for a couple of reasons: 1) they think they already know what they are doing (this is even more true with the 3rd baby), or 2) they just don't have the time now. For me, I wanted a different birth, so I read like crazy and got a babysitter for 12 weeks while we attended Bradley classes. I see this a lot with my couples that already have children. It's about commitment.
You may or may not remember the first time you felt the baby #2 move and even if she moved very much. You are mostly dealing with the baby you already have!
In the back of most parents' heads at this point is, "Can I love another baby as much as I love this one?" It's so hard to imagine. A lot of parents have expressed that if the baby is a different sex, it will be easier for them to be excited -- to feel like it's something new. More worry if it's another boy, or another girl. More comparing.
Parents typically are much more confident in taking care of the second baby. The other child has survived somehow, so we must be doing something right! Once the baby is actually here, the parents find out that, yes, I can love this baby just as much as the first baby. Oddly, it seems to only occur with baby #2, this worry. You'll find yourself protecting baby #2 from baby #1 and trying to help him understand why he has to be quiet when the baby is sleeping or why he can't throw balls in the house.
There is often guilt in those early months, as baby #1 wants -- and has been used to -- your undivided attention. I always put my babies in the sling and they became almost invisible to the other kiddos. Baby was happy, mama was happy, and other children were happy. Win, win, win. It's ok that your older child is having to learn patience. You have given him a playmate and while they can't play yet, in just a few short months, they will. Let's face it, as great a playmate as I'm sure you were, another child is so much better! They will learn negotiation, sharing, fun, and hopefully will get a best friend out of the deal. That guilt you initially feel will hopefully be very short-lived.
Shortly after Vena (my #2) was born, I remember David had been at work one night, and I must have been feeling adventurous and decided to bathe both children at once. We were in a tiny BYU apartment at the time. Daymon (#1), 2 1/2, was in the big bathtub and Vena was in the baby bathtub on the floor. I don't remember all that transpired in those few moments, but I do remember that David came home to find us all three crying, the two kids on my lap, on the bathroom floor. He looked in, and just turned back around and shut the door! There were days when I was convinced that this was a huge mistake to have another baby!
Vena was an interesting baby, and still, my most interesting child. She would smile at me and David, but no one else. Everywhere we went, people would talk to her in the sling and tell her how beautiful she is. My dad used to say that she could stare a hole through you. No expression. The only person that could ever make her laugh was her big brother. I am not exaggerating. Eleven years later, this is the sister that he is most bonded with.
In fact, going from 2 to 3 kids, for me, was much easier because #1 and #2 would play together while I dealt with #3. My words of caution with #3 is to not be cocky or over-confident -- with the pregnancy, and especially the labor and birth. I've talked with midwives who say that 3rd babies make them the most nervous. Not just the labors, but the parents. They tend to have a know-it-all attitude and do not prepare themselves appropriately. This was definitely our case. Stay humble!
Middle child is a tough place to be. I'm a middle child. I always felt that my mom's favorite was my brother, being her firstborn. He was also 8 1/2 when I was born, so they had been together for a long time before I came along. And my dad's favorite was my sister, two years younger than I. All those pictures of #1, and you swear that you won't be like your parents. You will record all those firsts and have equal amounts of pictures of all your kids. Impossible! I'm just like they were.
My expereince with #2 is that it has been very easy to ignore her. #1 demands so much attention because they are used to it. Second babies tend to entertain themselves easier, or be entertained by big brother or sister instead of mom or dad. I have often used the phrase, and everyone has heard it, "The squeeky wheel gets the oil." The children that don't squeek as much need just as much attention as the squeeky ones. Vena has had a lot of issues -- self-soothing issues, I'll call them -- that I think could have been avoided had I not relied on Daymon to entertain so much. Pay attention to those non-squeekers!
Love those babies. I can hardly hold my baby anymore. She's almost 5. They will grow. No matter how many babies you choose to have, you'll be amazed at how much love you'll have in your heart. Try to remember every single sweet moment, even though you know you won't!
Think back to being pregnant with the first baby: the excitement (hopefully!) of seeing that pee- stick tell you that you were going to have a baby, picking a doctor or (hopefully!) a midwife, reading all the books, listening to countless birth stories and wondering what your own birth would be like. That first time around is just magical. Feeling the baby move, laughing at your baby's hiccups, thinking that Braxton-Hicks contractions were the baby doing a major somersault.
The first time you tried to breastfeed, all the worrying about if you were doing things right. What kind of mother you'd be. You watched your baby's every move. Recorded all the firsts. There are a million pictures on your computer of your baby doing everything from sleeping to smiling to crawling to eating solid food. It was all so new and amazing to watch this little person grow. He had your undivided attention, often much to dad's dismay!
When you found out you were pregnant with baby #2, you probably felt excited that you'd get to do this again. This time, you promise yourself that you'll remember what it feels like to have a baby inside you move their little feet. Hopefully you won't be sick, whether you were or were not the first time around. Being sick with a little one in tow is quite different that being sick by yourself! So, no guilt when your child watches Sesame Street over and over! Survival mode might kick in! And that is okay. It's all for a good cause.
A lot of second time parents don't read for a couple of reasons: 1) they think they already know what they are doing (this is even more true with the 3rd baby), or 2) they just don't have the time now. For me, I wanted a different birth, so I read like crazy and got a babysitter for 12 weeks while we attended Bradley classes. I see this a lot with my couples that already have children. It's about commitment.
You may or may not remember the first time you felt the baby #2 move and even if she moved very much. You are mostly dealing with the baby you already have!
In the back of most parents' heads at this point is, "Can I love another baby as much as I love this one?" It's so hard to imagine. A lot of parents have expressed that if the baby is a different sex, it will be easier for them to be excited -- to feel like it's something new. More worry if it's another boy, or another girl. More comparing.
Parents typically are much more confident in taking care of the second baby. The other child has survived somehow, so we must be doing something right! Once the baby is actually here, the parents find out that, yes, I can love this baby just as much as the first baby. Oddly, it seems to only occur with baby #2, this worry. You'll find yourself protecting baby #2 from baby #1 and trying to help him understand why he has to be quiet when the baby is sleeping or why he can't throw balls in the house.
There is often guilt in those early months, as baby #1 wants -- and has been used to -- your undivided attention. I always put my babies in the sling and they became almost invisible to the other kiddos. Baby was happy, mama was happy, and other children were happy. Win, win, win. It's ok that your older child is having to learn patience. You have given him a playmate and while they can't play yet, in just a few short months, they will. Let's face it, as great a playmate as I'm sure you were, another child is so much better! They will learn negotiation, sharing, fun, and hopefully will get a best friend out of the deal. That guilt you initially feel will hopefully be very short-lived.
Shortly after Vena (my #2) was born, I remember David had been at work one night, and I must have been feeling adventurous and decided to bathe both children at once. We were in a tiny BYU apartment at the time. Daymon (#1), 2 1/2, was in the big bathtub and Vena was in the baby bathtub on the floor. I don't remember all that transpired in those few moments, but I do remember that David came home to find us all three crying, the two kids on my lap, on the bathroom floor. He looked in, and just turned back around and shut the door! There were days when I was convinced that this was a huge mistake to have another baby!
Vena was an interesting baby, and still, my most interesting child. She would smile at me and David, but no one else. Everywhere we went, people would talk to her in the sling and tell her how beautiful she is. My dad used to say that she could stare a hole through you. No expression. The only person that could ever make her laugh was her big brother. I am not exaggerating. Eleven years later, this is the sister that he is most bonded with.
In fact, going from 2 to 3 kids, for me, was much easier because #1 and #2 would play together while I dealt with #3. My words of caution with #3 is to not be cocky or over-confident -- with the pregnancy, and especially the labor and birth. I've talked with midwives who say that 3rd babies make them the most nervous. Not just the labors, but the parents. They tend to have a know-it-all attitude and do not prepare themselves appropriately. This was definitely our case. Stay humble!
Middle child is a tough place to be. I'm a middle child. I always felt that my mom's favorite was my brother, being her firstborn. He was also 8 1/2 when I was born, so they had been together for a long time before I came along. And my dad's favorite was my sister, two years younger than I. All those pictures of #1, and you swear that you won't be like your parents. You will record all those firsts and have equal amounts of pictures of all your kids. Impossible! I'm just like they were.
My expereince with #2 is that it has been very easy to ignore her. #1 demands so much attention because they are used to it. Second babies tend to entertain themselves easier, or be entertained by big brother or sister instead of mom or dad. I have often used the phrase, and everyone has heard it, "The squeeky wheel gets the oil." The children that don't squeek as much need just as much attention as the squeeky ones. Vena has had a lot of issues -- self-soothing issues, I'll call them -- that I think could have been avoided had I not relied on Daymon to entertain so much. Pay attention to those non-squeekers!
Love those babies. I can hardly hold my baby anymore. She's almost 5. They will grow. No matter how many babies you choose to have, you'll be amazed at how much love you'll have in your heart. Try to remember every single sweet moment, even though you know you won't!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Class Schedule Spring 2010
My next live series will start Friday, March 5, 2010 and will wrap up May 21. Class will start at 7:00 p.m. and end around 9:30, depending on how chatty y'all are! I have 7 slots available, with 5 remaining.
In case you haven't read anything about my classes, I charge $275, and I teach the full 12-week series. That gets you a whole 'lotta fun, including: birth videos, the Bradley workbook, a Bradley water bottle, a Mothering Magazine, a birth atlas, and loads of handouts. I also teach a 3-hour breastfeeding class which is on DVD. Each student gets their own copy of the DVD to keep. In addition, I have all my classes on DVD, so if one or both of you must miss a class, simply borrow the DVD and return it when you return to class.
I teach in Mansfield, but my house borders Arlington. I'll look forward to talking with you.
If you are dying to take my class (!!) but do not live in the DFW area, you can always take my entire series on DVD.
donnaryan@juno.com
In case you haven't read anything about my classes, I charge $275, and I teach the full 12-week series. That gets you a whole 'lotta fun, including: birth videos, the Bradley workbook, a Bradley water bottle, a Mothering Magazine, a birth atlas, and loads of handouts. I also teach a 3-hour breastfeeding class which is on DVD. Each student gets their own copy of the DVD to keep. In addition, I have all my classes on DVD, so if one or both of you must miss a class, simply borrow the DVD and return it when you return to class.
I teach in Mansfield, but my house borders Arlington. I'll look forward to talking with you.
If you are dying to take my class (!!) but do not live in the DFW area, you can always take my entire series on DVD.
donnaryan@juno.com
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Another Product I Love
I recently came upon a book titled "25 Ways To Awaken Your Birth Power" and love it. Love it for several reasons. First off, the artwork is beautiful and inspiring. So much so that I ordered one of the prints for my Bradley bathroom that my students use. The quote is mine.
The book comes with a CD of all 25 exercises, read in a soothing Australian accent with pleasant music in the background. Your partner can read it or you can use the CD. I would recommend both.
I love the name of the book. The word "awaken" is what strikes a cord with me. All women have this instinct to give birth, to breastfeed their babies, to nurture their young. Most women, however, do not even know their capabilities. Fear of birth surrounds us in all that we see and hear. Some women know they can give birth naturally, but most, I believe, need to awaken their birth power.
And how about the words "birth power" -- that's what it is -- power. Power from her body, of course, but even more, power from her mind, her heart, her baby, her partner, her doula, her midwife. She becomes more powerful than she ever thought possible during the act of birthing her baby. This power carries her through everything that comes afterward in her life. She will reflect upon the things that she learns about herself during birth throughout her lifetime. Her power and the power that birth gave to her.
If you would like more info on how you can order your own copy, check out www.awakenyourbirthpower.com. Enjoy.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sarah's Amazing VBAC
I have contemplated how I want to present this for weeks. Sarah herself joked about how much she had to say to about her very fast labor! In the end, I've decided, who am I to edit this amazing woman's birth story? I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and I think you will too.
Why is this VBAC so special? I have chills as I write that question. About a year ago, I posted a picture of Sarah right after her c-section that took place 2 years ago. Without going through all the details, it was a nightmare. They had taken my class by DVD, and while I had met with Sarah a number of times, I had never met her husband, Kip, until that day on the phone. We spoke for about 30 minutes and it broke my heart. I could feel the love that he has for Sarah, and he had felt so helpless as their birth spiraled out of control, ending in a c-section. If you would like to read what she wrote about her previous experience, you can find it at the previous post titled "Ah, the Glorious C-Section."
Sarah and Kip, like so many couples, struggled with depression over the event and went through an intense healing process. Breastfeeding was such a struggle with the first baby, and when Sarah started the baby on formula, she went through tremendous guilt and more depression. Kip wasn't sure he ever wanted to go through this again, but Sarah knew her body could do this. When she found herself pregnant again, she hired a midwife at Gentle Beginnings Birth Center and planned for an out-of-hospital birth. Her birth photographer was the amazing Lynsey Stone, and I do have her permission to use these photos here!
I love the look on Sarah's face and I have no doubt that she was saying a silent prayer of thank- fulness, healing, and amazing power. What a strong woman. Enjoy her story in her own words:Jackson’s birth story
Born 8/29, 9 days past EDD by VBAC waterbirth
“I love you Lord,
And I lift my voice,
To worship you,
Oh my soul, rejoice.
Take joy my king,
In what you hear,
May it be a sweet, sweet sound
In your ears.”
This was my song during labor… it helped me to survive the hardest 4 ½ hours of my life! Compared to my first labor and eventual c-section w/ Kate, this was short and 100 miles an hour – less to tell (so why is it so long!) 9 days past EDD, my mantra of “Be still and know that I am God,” from Psalm 46 was starting to waver and I was starting to be anxious. After speaking w/ my midwife and starting Master Gland on 8/28, I went to bed grouchy w/ no contractions. My husband & his parents went to a high school football game & I stayed home w/ Kate.
I woke up at 4:30am and felt terrible, but assumed it was food related again since I had developed a sensitive tummy around 38 weeks to many different foods. By 5am I was starting to believe I was in labor, but not worried. I wasn’t experiencing contractions as I had expected them to feel, but still believed that things were starting to warm-up. (I never went into natural labor w/ Kate, but was induced due to high BP at 41 weeks.) I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I made myself a big bowl of rice krispies & strawberries since it was easy & sat down to relax & catch up on facebook and emails. I also found an online contraction timer, but the contractions I was experiencing were irregular and all over the place & impossible to chart well. I felt frustrated, and unsure if I was really in labor of wondering if something might just be wrong.
By 5:30am, I really needed to focus much more on my contractions instead of my computer work and started to feel much more uncomfortable. I so badly wanted to wake up Kip and call my doula, Camron, but decided that I should wait until 6am to wake them. It was a Saturday morning, and I figured that 6am was a ‘reasonable’ time to be awakened compared to 5:30. I also figured that since my last birth was more that 30 hours, they would probably need all the sleep they could get since I was sure I was going to have another marathon labor. By 6am I woke up Kip, and my contractions were getting painful at this time, to the point that it was difficult to talk. I remember specifically saying, “You need to get up, and you need to eat some breakfast. Like, right now.” I called Camron, and told her that I thought I was in labor, but that things were inconsistent. She told me she’d get ready and come over, and ordered me into the shower.
In the shower, though the pain was relieved due to the hot water, I could still feel the intensity building. “For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” – Luke 6:45. Suddenly in the shower my heart was just swelling with a praise song (lyrics above) and I remember leaning on the wall of our shower and sort of muttering this praise song. Hadn’t heard it in a long time, and not one of my favorites or anything but it appeared on my tongue and I lifted it up to the Lord! I felt calmer instantly. Kip called Camron to tell her that I was getting serious, and that she should probably hurry.
I told Kip that he needed to call his mother to come get Kate. His response was “Aren’t we going to drop her off on the way to the birth center?” I quickly said ‘No way!!” to having enough time to do that because of the intensity of my contractions and his mother headed our way. At this point, Kate woke up which was really hard for me. She’s very sensitive to my physical feelings and I didn’t want to show her I was in pain. (She was 21 months old at the time.) I labored on my yoga ball on my hands and knees until Kate was picked up.
At this point, Kip and I began to argue and bicker. I still wasn’t positive that I was in labor, which in retrospect is just silly. I was experiencing strong contractions that I couldn’t speak through, and my train of thought was all over the place and I wasn’t making sense of finishing thoughts & sentences. Kip kept asking me questions, and my answers were mostly “I don’t know.” In hindsight, this should have clued him into the fact that I was really in labor and focused inwardly, unable to carry on a good conversation. Instead, it just really frustrated him because he thought I wasn’t communicating my needs well to him. Oh well – now we know better for next time!
Camron arrived at 7:35 to see me laboring on the side of the bed, w/ my contractions 2-4 minutes apart. She wasn’t sure what was going on w/ my irregular contractions; they were all over the place, and only lasting about 30-45 seconds, and a few minutes apart but super intense and I wasn’t able to speak during them. Camron started to think I was farther along than we had originally thought, and asked me to go to the bathroom and asked Kip to help me to try & relax. Relaxing and peeing was totally out of the question – I felt like I had to pee so badly but just couldn’t relax and this was really starting to bother me. At 8am I had a 1 minute 45 second contraction and Camron asked if I was pushing and I told her ‘no’, but in retrospect I think I might have been ‘trying’ and didn’t know it yet. At 8:02 Camron called our midwife Ann and they decided it was time to head to the birth center so we started collecting our things.
At 8:09 it was DEFINITELY time to go to the birth center, the waves of contractions were short and hard, almost angry feeling. I remember crying from the pain, thinking that I couldn’t be that far along and that if I was feeling so much pain how could I make it another 30 hours like my last labor? Camron and Kip just kept reassuring me, and she gave me a pad to wear in case my water broke in the car. The walk to our car was absolutely the longest and hardest walk of my life, and looking back at it I now absolutely see the benefit of homebirth and never having to leave your sanctuary when you are at that point in labor! By 8:15am we were standing outside, leaning on the car until the contraction was over to leave and I yelled at the 2 of them “JUST GO!” in the middle of the contraction. I knew it didn’t matter how bad it felt, we had to get moving before this baby came.
At 8:30am Kip picked up the speed and we hit 90mph down 820 towards the birth center. Praise God that the cops weren’t around! I remember telling Kip that either my water had just broken or that I had finally gone pee. (It was my water breaking, thanks for the help Camron – you saved our car!) I kind of went to another place mentally in the car – I had no concept of time or distance other than it was taking too long for my liking. I had one hand down on the middle console pushing my bottom up and the other hand pulling my whole body up from the handle bar attached in the ceiling. Kip asked me if I was pushing and I kept telling him that I didn’t think so, that I was trying not to, but I really had to go to the bathroom. Piece of advice – transition in the car stinks, so try to avoid it!!
At 8:48am we pulled up to the birth center, and Ann and Marsha (my midwife & her assistant) met me at my car door and unbuckled my seatbelt for me. They lovingly and swiftly escorted me into the back bedroom to check me. I remember walking past the sign they had put up front, “Ssshhh! Mother in labor.” I thought, “wow! That’s for me!” When we got there I was calm and seriously working hard, feeling like I was going to lose control soon. I told Ann I needed to push or go to the bathroom. She checked me and said, “Honey, you feel like you need to push because you are complete and +1, and this baby is ready to come! If you want to do this in the tub you need to go there NOW, or we can just do this right here on the bed!” I remember Kip asking if I had heard her, and hearing how encouraged he was at her words. Everyone suggested I get in the tub if I felt like it, and I really wanted some pain relief if possible. As I walked to the birth tub, I remember seeing the copy of my scriptures for labor laying on the table. I remember feeling so relieved that someone else had seen them, that the midwives and looked at them and prayed for me even before my arrival! I had a suitcase full of gear for labor and scriptures with lots of good intentions but my labor was going too fast to use any of it!
I walked to the bathtub and stopped to push really hard for the first time on the side of the tub. Then I got in, and pushed while sitting on my hands and knees. I remembered Donna (my birth instructor) suggesting this position in labor, and once I got into it I felt like I couldn’t get out! It just felt right, and even though I felt like I had a little less control since I couldn’t see what was going on I fully trusted my birth team who were literally right behind me! I remember Ann praying for me, Marsha coaching me, Camron keeping my hair out of my face, and Kip right above my head whispering encouraging words as I pushed. As I was pushing, Lynsey (the best birth photographer!) showed up just in time to capture Jackson’s arrival. He was born at 9:15am, less than 30 minutes after our arrival! Praise God! My midwives had to use suction to get some of the meconium-stained fluid out of his mouth but then I turned around in the water and took my baby boy! They gave him to me, and he was quiet for just a moment and then cried out to let us hear his voice. It was so wonderful to relax in the birth tub with him and hold him in my arms while the midwives helped me to deliver the placenta. Kip got to cut the cord. I remember being in total shock and disbelief about what I had just done. Only 4 hours before I wasn’t even sure I was in labor!
We got out of the tub for the midwives to check us over (no tearing!) & clean up the tub, and then we got back in for our herbal bath, which was just amazing and so relaxing. Jackson was quiet, opened his eyes so wide for us, and sucked his thumb sweetly in our candlelit bath. Ann told me that thumbsuckers are sweet babies and she was sooo right! Kip helped me to clean the little bit of vernix that he had in his hair, and we went back to the bedroom where we had breakfast in bed and I nursed him. Kip’s parents brought Kate down to meet her little brother, and Lynsey captured their first meeting in a sweet photograph. My birth team kept asking us if Kip and I wanted privacy w/ our new baby but I didn’t! I was so happy and proud that we had accomplished our vbac, and I felt SO GOOD that I was glad to be in the presence of everyone that had helped us to get there! I remember laughing quite a few times after he was born, knowing that I had been surrounded by successful VBAC’ers (Lynsey & Camron) and that I had just pushed my baby out! They took Jackson’s measurements, 10 lbs, 11 oz’s and 21 ½ inches long! I remember laughing at the look in Kip’s eyes when he held up the scale to weigh him – you could tell he was thinking “Am I reading this thing right?!”
It was so strange, just 3 ½ hours after his birth, being gently escorted by my midwives back to my vehicle. Hadn’t they just taken my seatbelt off?? Was I really done and going home with my baby? It just didn’t seem real! I can’t begin to describe how great I felt after his birth – physically, emotionally, spiritually. I’ve never felt so ALIVE as I did that afternoon (and hungry, too!)
The differences between my 2 birth experiences are night and day, especially in the care that we received as a family. Within 48 hours of Jackson being born, we had house calls from our midwife, our chiropractor, and our lactation consultant. I really had a team of people surrounding me with Christ’s love and support, helping me to figure out the ‘new mom thing’ with Jackson. The care that we received from these women was a true testimony to the rest of our family as to the reason we made our birth choices to a family that hadn’t been too confident in our choices to use a midwife & birth center.
Physically, recovery is so different w/ a VBAC than with a c-section. Ann warned me and was correct, you feel SO GOOD compared to your c-section that you have to be really careful not to overdo it & exhaust yourself. Breastfeeding has been so successful with Jackson, and I haven’t struggled with feeling blue like I did after my c-section. Jackson is a sweet-natured baby who slept so much during the first day or 2 that I worried about him! His gentle beginning has surely affected his temperament in a very agreeable way. Kate just turned 2 this week, and she is a firecracker that lights up our life with her vivacious spirit. She came into this world with a bang and is a spitfire for sure, and I look forward to see how Jackson’s personality develops and to see if his labor and birth experience shape his character. I can’t even begin to describe the healing that has taken place since my vbac, and I now feel so alive and encouraged about our family and look forward eagerly to see if God blesses our quiver with more arrows!
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